Sisters are doing it for themselves

Sisters are doing it for themselves

B"H we had wonderful guests stay by us for Shabbos - and I hope they return to stay with us again.

An interesting topic of conversation came up, that I've never really considered before, and brought me to think deeply about the subject.

That is the differing approaches to spiritual fulfillment for men and women. Our guest was of the opinion that women were uneducated throughout the ages and deliberately kept in an unenlightened state by the Rabbis so to limit them to homemaking and other traditional feminine roles/values.

Now, I'm not a historian at all - but I found this an unlikely model to have occurred. For this to have happened it would mean the Jewish women were stupid and weak, Jewish men were evil and abusive and that G*d was uncaring.

As luck would have it I'm doing a website right now for a prominent Jewish historian who I've since talked to about this subject, and thankfully he gave many examples country to the opinion that women were subjugated, and told me that he has never researched any evidence that would suggest women were deliberately left uneducated for any reason, and found it to be accurate, but rather it’s a theory put forth for another agenda.

So, here's what I think is going on. Our guest was clearly an intelligent woman, and as such she was probably raised by intelligent women, or at the very least had intelligent women as role models.

Now we all know that women have spent much of the 20th century being emancipated from a 2nd class status - just have a look at the show Mad Men to see how the late 50s and early 60s were a different universe for women.

It seems to me that a central trait of modern feminism is throwing off the limitations that society had placed upon them, and an unfortunate side effect was that the idea of homemaking became massively devalued, and that devaluation has entered into the western group psyche as a core belief.

So when an intelligent woman seeks spiritual self-actualization, they can face a problem. Traditional Jewish feminine values come into clash with that core feeling that a woman who chooses to make a home, and raise children within it (obviously the husband has a crucial role in raising children as well) to be a lesser person as one who doesn't, as they've thrown away they're opportunity to do all the other things that are now open for her to do.

The idea of becoming a homemaker seems to be repellent on many levels - which has led to this philosophy that masculine roads to spiritual self fulfillment are just as good as a route as feminine. If women were only prohibited from these masculine approaches as a result of men wanting to keep women in a 2nd class state, then there would be no good reason for the modern enlightened womשn to follow those paths if she so chooses.

Except according to my source that wasn't the case. Yes, of course the rest of the world's attitude to women would have some influence, but surprisingly little it would seem. I would say it's analogous to the Jews surviving the black death, because they had the simple practice of washing one's hands before they eat.

In the texts time and time again they have been the savior of the Jewish people. Tanach clearly does not favor one sex over another.

What I'm saying is that Jewish women don't take crap. They don't take it now, and don't think they ever took it.

I would wager if any women of the same point of view as our guest would just TRY traditional Jewish feminine values as a conduit to connecting to G*d (making Challah, or a Shabbos meal for example - with the intention they are doing it as a spiritual experience rather than just a practical matter) then two things would happen:

1) They would find that it gives them a greater spiritual connection than wearing a tallies, learning Talmud or whatever masculine path to G*d they normally favor.

2) They would be initially really embarrassed by the above (due to the above mentioned devaluation of home making and so on)

Again - this is all just my theory, and would love someone to experiment with it to see if it's actually the case.

And while I'm theorizing, what's wrong with women learning Talmud anyway?

Answer : Nothing at all WRONG with it, but think I can put forward an answer as to why it's not initially encouraged in orthodox Jewish women's learning.

It obvious that men and women are different on many levels (just about anyone who’s been married or has children can see that clearly) and it seems to me that as an extension on that, that men and women have different ways of thinking ;

Women in general are better at processing multiple streams simultaneously, whilst men have a much more linear, cause and effect approach.

Not to say one is better than the other, or the one is incapable of the other.

The function of learning Talmud is not just to acquire the knowledge within, but it is much more of a mental work out to tone one's mind in (what I'm calling) masculine thought patterns.

Which leads me to what I feel is the real tragedy of feminism - Yes they've thrown off the 2nd class citizen oppression, but in doing so they've also made it so that the only real pursuits of value are traditional masculine ones.

For me I feel that real equality is respecting women for being women, and not for being a woman who has taken on a masculine role.

Which leads me to the great scene at the beginning of the G*dfather where Johnny Fontain is crying, asking for the Marlon Brando's help, leading him to slap him and shout: YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! (what are you some Hollywood fanook?).

My son and I quote that to each other quite frequently.

Great advise, but not universally helpful!